It occurs to me, through a recent series of events, that life is, essentially, a one way u haul. As we make decisions and then live with the results, it’s clear that these segments of our life are indeed one way. The baggage we schlep is the haul.

Baggage takes in many forms. It can be material or emotional. Either way, the more baggage we have, the more complicated our journeys can be. The one way u haul can become bogged down and cumbersome. Or you can choose just a carry on. Or, even more simplistic, one personal item.

My sister has been living and working in NY for many years. We often wondered how she managed her schedule; something out of an Amazon delivery playbook. But now her office is relocating and they offered her the option to work from (mostly) home in Canada. She accepted that offer hence the one way uhaul. I thought of her packing up her nest as we did a few years ago upon retirement. The thing that sticks out is: where/when did I acquire all the “stuff” and what stuff is going to make the cut? What will I decide to schlep?

In this evaluation process you make hard decisions. The first photo album I chucked left a lump in my throat. But after the tenth or eleventh album (which had years old dust layers) it was unusually liberating. All of those memories live within us and others really don’t care or see the significance. It’s like showing someone who wasn’t on your epic adventure trip the pictures. Only you really get it since you lived it. Others only politely nod as they glaze over. I would exclude my parents old photos from this analogy as I like the historical significance and the chance for them to stroll down memory lane. Once they are gone, so will the memories slip away.

I think every decision we make takes us on a one way u haul trip. There’s no turning back. Sometimes you have to take a modified route but in the end you’re still going one way. I’m turning 60 in a few weeks. It’s hard to believe actually. I’ve unloaded and reloaded many a u haul. Lots to reflect on that’s for sure. The only thing I’m sure of is that I picked the best possible co-pilot. Although, I’m not sure I “picked “ and that decision in itself was a u haul. Serendipity is a strange beast. I’m forever thankful.

Christmas is one of my favourite times of year. Over the years we’ve had so many different forms of Christmas. I don’t mean the actual day or the gift exchanges or the decorations; it’s a season. In November the radio starts playing Christmas songs (I listen to satellite radio and they dedicate entire channels to festive music!), decorations start (especially the lights which makes getting dark at 4 pm palatable), stores start to stock seasonal treats (hello rum and egg nog!) and people in general are feeling more giving and generous. There’s get togethers and parties and games and festive celebrations. And there is never enough time to check off the whole list.

This year, however, we had to make one of life’s most excruciating decisions. We said farewell (for now) to our best girl, Molly. If this were written on paper, it would be hopelessly smudged from a sea of tears. My girl got old and her body was done. Her loving spirit lives forever in our hearts 💕. We couldn’t have asked for a more sweet, gentle, stubborn, loud, vivacious, precocious and beautiful companion. Our house is empty without her. The u haul of our life is now filled with fond memories. I know when our journey ends we will meet again. That’s comforting to know about any loved ones we’ve said good bye to. It’s temporary.

Now we are sorting out “life after Molly”. Without stating the obvious, our life revolves around our girl. Scheduling was on her time rather than ours. Her needs came above ours and so did priority seating in the sofa or bed. Us humans understood our role. So where will the u haul take us now?

So many ideas and wishes were parked over the last 12.5 years. It’s now time to unpack the parking lot. Freedom is bittersweet ….

When my sister first mentioned the one way u haul it struck me as the perfect title for a soulful country song:

Life is a one way uhaul

You get up each time you fall

There’s no one there. No one to call. Pack your emotions and your life.

Hit the road in the one way uhaul.

Stay tuned for us on the LAM (life after Molly) ❤️‍🩹