Maybe there was a time that a snoring sound got on my nerves. But now I sleep with 2 and sometimes 3 snoring bodies. The sound to me is both soothing and lovely. There’s something about knowing that those you love are having a great snooze. It lulls me to sleep at night and makes me smile in the morning.

We’ve joked in the past about Rudy going on overnight trips with the guys and them picking straws for who will be stuck with him. He does snore very loudly. My brother’s roommates at university used to sleep in the hallway to escape the racket of his snoring. I don’t recall if he snored as a kid. But my dad takes the cake too. Maybe it’s more of a guy thing. Until you hear my mother. Her snore is like a distant motor. I have fond memories of us laughing at her when she startles awake from a nap and the first thing she says is: did I snore??

Molly is a champion snorer. When she naps (as often as possible during the day) she snores away. It’s a wonderful cooing groan that leads me to believe she’s in a pleasant dreamland somewhere. When her paws and ears twitch as well I imagine she’s in hot pursuit of a rodent. At night in bed she snuggles while she snores. It’s pure bliss.

Our neighbours in Stratford had a long running family feud about snoring. Snoring was the cause of many tiffs and sleepless nights. At one time the neighbours wife told my mom she routinely slept in the bathtub to escape the snoring. I think my sister-in-law is in the same boat. It’s a horrible thought for me to lose sleep over a noise you can’t turn off. Is there a way to get used to it or do we build up the aggravation to a point of no return? How do people sleep in urban centres with all the traffic and city noise. My sister used to hate the sound of silence at our place in the country. Can we train ourselves to tolerate?

There are some sounds that drive me crazy. Number 1 to 10 in my list is coughing. It absolutely sends me to the moon. Rudy has a chronic cough. It’s not good. It’s a stupid cough. When some people cough you can hear the expulsion from their lungs. That’s extremely gross but you can almost feel the relief. Like smokers. They have a lot of gunk to release. But Rudy’s cough is a bad habit. It’s a dry useless cough. No relief except for a momentary itch of the ever-present (apparent) tickle. I wish there was a cure. Is coughing his nervous tick like nail biting?

Guess what? He never coughs when he’s sleeping. Ever. Maybe that’s why I enjoy his snoring so much. It’s a cough-free zone.

Some coughing can actually make me gag. A long time ago my sister and I were dining (ha ha) at Burger King. A man sitting nearby coughed. It was so gross we left our food and the restaurant. I don’t think my sister has eaten at a BK ever again. Spitting is just as vile.

We were in Vancouver for a visit a number of years ago. Rudy’s friend picked us up in his sleek BMW 750 Coupe. This car was amazing. The friend was well dressed in a nice top coat. I was feeling like a vip. Until this refined man opened his console and took out a spittoon. He drooled a dark slimy hunk of chew into the cup. I was in the backseat with a front row seat. Disgusting. Funny how these momentary blips are branded on your memory for life.

I could never work in healthcare or any job where human bodily functions played a part. My gag reflex is too acute.

For now I’ll relish the snoring and brace myself for the cough.