Golf

Someone once told me that GOLF was an acronym for: Gentlemen Only Ladies Forbidden. Suits me just fine. But today it gave me great pleasure to know Golf. It was opening day of the club Rudy belongs to and he was almost twitching with excitement.

Every golfer must have been tuned into the media a few days ago as the powers that be announced what businesses could reopen their doors. Golf courses were among the list of venues that could open again with some modifications and restrictions to adhere to health advice. Hogwash in my view (locking down healthy people is insane!) but nonetheless the courses are free to open. The links are going to see action other than dog walkers and geese! Hooray!

Rudy immediately contacted the club following the announcement. He wasn’t the only one apparently since the best tee time he could get was after 1 pm. This is perfect timing for his golfing buddy who’s an admitted non-morning person and also for me who hates the hustle and bustle in the morning. Mornings are for lingering over coffee and gradually waking up to a new day if you ask me. Rudy simply didn’t care at all; he was golfing in his home club after months of patience. He enjoys golfing in Florida (who wouldn’t) but his home club offers a lot of perks such as club cleaning and storage as well as a course that’s challenging.

I’m happy for him. He’s like a kid on Christmas morning! Organizing his gear and checking his mental list of what he needs. It’s fascinating to watch. He has every gadget known to man. And, in typical Rudy fashion, he has them squirrelled into compartments and packets that he schleps along. His golf partner laughs at the array of stuff that Rudy has stashed away in his gear. Today I observed the various trinkets and gizmos that make up the golf kit. It’s impressive how it all fits into place and that Rudy knows exactly where each item is. Mostly. It’s downright hilarious to observe him digging and manoeuvring to retrieve something on demand. Just like his flashlight fetish at our farm his golf gadgets come in multiples. I think he stashes things and rather than take ages to locate them he just buys another and adds it to the set.

He spends a lot of time perusing golf related media. He loves You Tube for example and will watch many training videos on how to (fill in the blank) better his golf game. He’s very particular however about the actual trainer. They better not be boring and waste time on irrelevant information; get to the point and do it in a fun purposeful way. He’s always clicking to find a video on topic that’s a suitable length; if it’s too lengthy he skips past. Good to know for “how to” enthusiasts targeting Rudy’s type market. When all you have is time, don’t waste it.

He also likes to order golf items on line. So in addition to the how to aspect of the videos is also the prescribed stuff you need to succeed. He’s ordered clubs, gadgets such as cigar clips (where you attach your lit stogie to the cart while you play) and other useful must haves and accessories. When these arrive at the door they are quickly whisked into golf oblivion (one of the bags). One that’s cute is the ball marker that fastens onto the brim of your cap. Rudy loves to show off his finds and often orders extras to share with a lucky few (anyone that is genuinely enamoured).

Today, in excited anticipation, Rudy spent quite some time organizing his loot. He sat at the kitchen table surrounded by pouches and their contents as he laboured with his back up gps. He forgot to charge his golf gps watch. He needed the back up. He rounded everything up and back it went into the goodie bags. As an afterthought he added the screwdriver he was using to tinker on his gps. He notices me watching him. You never know if Blair might need a screwdriver; I’m taking it just in case. Ok. I say. Good idea. You never know. I chuckle just thinking about it.

Towards the end of last season he lost his wallet somewhere in his bag(s) of tricks. I hope he finds it. He could use a back up. You never know.

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