Women and men are just different. We know that’s true and everyday the anecdotal evidence piles up. It’s not a bad thing at all. It’s balance and it’s necessary. Of course there’s always exceptions to any sweeping generalization. But here’s my personal take.
Women like to shop. Men buy. Women can spend a lot of time browsing. In fact, when the sales clerk (if there is such a thing these days) approaches and asks if you need help finding something women will say “no thanks I’m just looking”. Men will likely say no too because they don’t ask for help (or directions). Men beeline to the shelf they need. Pick up the first item they see and they’re done. In the past, I can’t even count the number of times my mom has complained about my dad buying weird stuff: he meant to buy cream cheese and bought whipped icing, he wanted to buy vegetable oil and bought peanut oil. Doesn’t read the label; just buying. Women can take forever looking at and comparing products; we shop. Rudy always asks me if I’m shopping or buying. He can gauge his timing that way to avoid frustration. Smart guy. Yesterday I told him I wanted to duck into a store to look at quilts. He asked how long I would be. I said not long … but I was shopping. He came into the store to find me. I have a feeling this entire discussion can be reversed if it’s about things that actually interest men such as sporting goods, electronic gadgets and (for some) tools.
Rudy got “Hallmarked” to the nines over the past few months. We watched every cheesy movie there was. Every now and then we had to throw in a movie for his palate. He likes action and violence. Swearing is also good. At my folks place at Christmas the guys were delighted to watch Die Hard. Girls were on their devices pretending to be into it. Right now we are thoroughly engrossed in The Americans, a long running series that was unavailable in Canada on our system. This show satisfies men and women in that there are complex personality and emotional matters intermingled with outright violence and intrigue. The writers have engaged their diverse audience.
Last night we FaceTimed with friends who we didn’t get a chance to see over the holidays. We got on line and they were having technical issues at their end. Trying to get the right set up was frustrating for the guys (they don’t need perfect to chat) and they carried on a meaningful (eye roll) conversation about football. It occurred to me that Rudy has had no one to really dissect the Grey Cup and NFL with. It was pleasing for me to listen to their banter and enthusiasm. No small talk …just talk. When they had exhausted their sports rundown one of them asked: “So what do you girls want to talk about?” Good question? World peace? We were just content to see each other and smile (or make silly faces). Had we been talking it would have been rambling emotionally driven philosophical verbal ping pong. Perfectly pointless.
As much as I love spending time with Rudy I recognize that there’s a need for variety on both our parts. He needs man time and alone time as do I (female time). Sometimes I like shopping rather than buying. I’m glad we’re different.